A Barrel of Nelsons

Feb 26th

Dear the Me Of a Year Ago,

Ok, I know you’re scared and pukey right now sweetie, but you need to listen.

Go out and buy a pregnancy test. It’s going to turn out positive. I know you’re scared, but there’s a wonderful little person inside of you that you need to do this for. Then you and Jeff need to start calling people. Start with Emily. Follow with Sara. The rest of the order is at your discretion but don’t shrug at calling your parents. I know that scares you even more. But believe me, you will regret it if you don’t.

You just started at Shreve, and as much as it sucks to be on night duty with morning sickness it will work out, because that health plan you just chose is awesome. Also, do yourself a favor and try and speak up more before they start walking all over you.

As far as not having an OB-GYN? Go call the Women’s Clinic. Now. The one by the hospital. They’ll take care of you. And in September there is an awesome new doctor coming in who you’ll want meet. Awesome. She won’t be on duty when you deliver though. So do yourself another favor and type up a birth plan. Your alternative is not that pretty… (episiotomy).

Do yourself another huge favor… Do not let the word adoption pass your lips. Really. Don’t. I know that however scared you are and however noble you feel you can do this. Plus if you don’t say it chances are that no one else will. Really. And if they do, say no as loud and as clear and as strong as you can. Make sure that they hear you.

Go out and buy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and “What to Expect in the First Year.” Thirty bucks will get you a set at Borders.

Talk to S, talk to Christine (and totally gush over Ruby when she gets there in a few months, ’cause really she’s gonna be a cutey, lots like your little baby). Talk to Mom and Grandma and Emmers. Listen to their advice. They’ve been there done that. Talk to Suz. She’s been there seen that.

Work with Sara on how to best take advantage of her Walmart discount. She will help you so much. Warn her to take the last day of September off. And the first few days of October. Tell her that her birthday present this year might happen to cry and poop, but it will still be adorable and love “Aunt Sara” very much.

I know you’re worried about so much, but you can do it.

Start looking for two bedroom apartments now. There’s a great set of townhomes called Pondview. Not much more than you’re paying now. Two bedrooms. Full washer/dryer. Dishwasher. Garage. Go look.

Do not under any circumstances cop to paying the insane prices in the building where TS is. The view and the floors aren’t worth it.

Jeff should be getting insurance in the next few months. (If you don’t kick him into stepping up his marriage plans, which aren’t done yet in MY time. Close, but not there yet.) Tell him to go back and get his back checked again. There’s a very simple steroid injection that will help fix it for him. Else wise you’re going to find yourself as the primary power behind moving in an insanely hot month of July. It’s not fun lemme tell you.

Most of all, don’t be hard on yourself. You can do it. You’ve got a huge capacity for love. Take care of yourself.

Love, Someone Like You a Year Later

P.S. Look out for the heartburn. It will be bad.

Inspired by Jenna’s letter.

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